alright, yesterday I went to go for my run, (week5,day2) and my Ipod just didn't work....
I had to take it into the store I bought it from, they redirected me to another store that might be able to fix it,
they took it off me and are sending away for a new one....
In the meantime I am ipod-less!!! argghhh, needless to say I didn't make my run yesterday, and this exercise only succeeded in making me feel even worse than what I already was!!! I was scarily close to getting my hulk on at the next person that "forgot" to use their indicator in the traffic!
I went about with my daily jobs (very late) and when I got home my husband had been so thoughtful to have bought me flowers to cheer me up!!! He never buys me flowers, thinks they are a waste of money, so this really meant a lot to me!!!! He was well rewarded ;)
To top off my fantastic day!! my arch enemy insomnia (Isuffer Insomnia periodically, sometimes it will last a couple of nights, others a couple of months) has reared its ugly head again! So the battle begins!! I encouraged the nasty beast by sleeping in this morning too.. I should have got up and carried on with my day and more than likely would have been tired enough tonight to dose off to sleep straight away....
I refuse to take sleeping pills for it, especially whilst trying for children!! Not the safest idea.
Tonight I am off to a friends house (possible business partner) for a BBQ dinner, and I have armed myself with two bottles of mildly expensive pinots noirs! it is the only time of the month I can drink and I am going to make the most of it... so sleeping tonight should not be an issue!!!
right now I have to change into my running gear, and borrow my husbands ipod with his dof dof music, I will have to set a timer for my intervals and push myself hard rather than Chubby Jones pushing me!! the motivation is strongly lacking.... but If I am going to be drinking calories tonight I have to go for my run!! terrible cramps or not!!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Start!
Okay, I admit I am not starting at the start......
I have been doing a running programme called couch to 5 km, today is week 5 of the programme, day 2.
so I am well over half way....
The other blog topic is the difficulties in trying to conceive! I am in my late 20's, healthy (other than carrying a few extra kg's) and am into month 3 of trying to conceive our first child.....
I am procrastinanting today because I feel awful, Af arrived this morning and it has put me into an emotionally weird place!
I have been doing a running programme called couch to 5 km, today is week 5 of the programme, day 2.
so I am well over half way....
The other blog topic is the difficulties in trying to conceive! I am in my late 20's, healthy (other than carrying a few extra kg's) and am into month 3 of trying to conceive our first child.....
I am procrastinanting today because I feel awful, Af arrived this morning and it has put me into an emotionally weird place!
I just got AF for 3rd time since trying, it may not seem like long, especially to a lot of you who have been trying for years!
it took me well over a year to convince my DH that if we want children we gotta get to it, then we did everything "right" went off the pill for 3 months, got blood tests, went onto folic acid, before we started trying. so yes now 3 months into trying it seems like it has been a year and a half for me because of the long journey to get here.
the first AF I was a little emotional, but not a heap.. the second AF I was a wreck and tears were flowing, this time I am angry, confused.. I am actually not sure, I have this terrible inner turmoil.
I just bought some ov tests so I can start testing for ov, but last cycle we definatly did not miss the ov boat as we were BD'ing every day...I was a lot more relaxed etc.. too.
And I can't help but be really mad, when my someone else I know found out I was trying, she started trying too, and she got her BFP the first cycle!!! I can't understand why I am so so so angry about that, I feel she has stolen my thunder... and I hate feeling like this... and I know it irrational.
Anyone else experienced this much anger??? I'm not usually an angry person I promise!!!
How do you ladies that have been trying for years or longer than me get through everymonth??? It seems to be the only focus in my life at the moment and I feel its going to be the undoing of me if this doesn't happen soon.
I Know I should be shifting my focus, and I am sure after my run today I will feel a million times better.
it took me well over a year to convince my DH that if we want children we gotta get to it, then we did everything "right" went off the pill for 3 months, got blood tests, went onto folic acid, before we started trying. so yes now 3 months into trying it seems like it has been a year and a half for me because of the long journey to get here.
the first AF I was a little emotional, but not a heap.. the second AF I was a wreck and tears were flowing, this time I am angry, confused.. I am actually not sure, I have this terrible inner turmoil.
I just bought some ov tests so I can start testing for ov, but last cycle we definatly did not miss the ov boat as we were BD'ing every day...I was a lot more relaxed etc.. too.
And I can't help but be really mad, when my someone else I know found out I was trying, she started trying too, and she got her BFP the first cycle!!! I can't understand why I am so so so angry about that, I feel she has stolen my thunder... and I hate feeling like this... and I know it irrational.
Anyone else experienced this much anger??? I'm not usually an angry person I promise!!!
How do you ladies that have been trying for years or longer than me get through everymonth??? It seems to be the only focus in my life at the moment and I feel its going to be the undoing of me if this doesn't happen soon.
I Know I should be shifting my focus, and I am sure after my run today I will feel a million times better.
The other thing I want to focus on is that my hubby and I want to go on holiday, but I am waiting for a refund from IRD to pay for it, so can not organise anything there until that comes through...
Also I am looking at expanding my business, my businees partner to be is waiting to sell her current bussiness before being able to buy into mine....
Oh and me and my hubby want to move to a lfiestyle block and build our own house, but we are a month away from fishing our renovations on this house and want to enjoy it before we move for at least a year... (we are currently waiting on carpet to be laid)
So although I have all these millions of plans.. and I am a very organised planning type person... I can't seem to step forward with any of them... I am in this terrible limbo, with these terrible emotions and have nothing to concentrate my energy on....
Other than my running... speaking of which... maybe procrastination should finish here and I should get off my slightly over weight butt to burn off some of these emotions.....
I hope endorphines make me feel better!!! Oh god maybe not!! My IPOD has died on me!! its only new... so I can not download my next podcast to run to! what am I goin to do!!!! hopefully I can fix it!
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