I have been doing a running programme called couch to 5 km, today is week 5 of the programme, day 2.
so I am well over half way....
The other blog topic is the difficulties in trying to conceive! I am in my late 20's, healthy (other than carrying a few extra kg's) and am into month 3 of trying to conceive our first child.....
I am procrastinanting today because I feel awful, Af arrived this morning and it has put me into an emotionally weird place!
I just got AF for 3rd time since trying, it may not seem like long, especially to a lot of you who have been trying for years!
it took me well over a year to convince my DH that if we want children we gotta get to it, then we did everything "right" went off the pill for 3 months, got blood tests, went onto folic acid, before we started trying. so yes now 3 months into trying it seems like it has been a year and a half for me because of the long journey to get here.
the first AF I was a little emotional, but not a heap.. the second AF I was a wreck and tears were flowing, this time I am angry, confused.. I am actually not sure, I have this terrible inner turmoil.
I just bought some ov tests so I can start testing for ov, but last cycle we definatly did not miss the ov boat as we were BD'ing every day...I was a lot more relaxed etc.. too.
And I can't help but be really mad, when my someone else I know found out I was trying, she started trying too, and she got her BFP the first cycle!!! I can't understand why I am so so so angry about that, I feel she has stolen my thunder... and I hate feeling like this... and I know it irrational.
Anyone else experienced this much anger??? I'm not usually an angry person I promise!!!
How do you ladies that have been trying for years or longer than me get through everymonth??? It seems to be the only focus in my life at the moment and I feel its going to be the undoing of me if this doesn't happen soon.
I Know I should be shifting my focus, and I am sure after my run today I will feel a million times better.
it took me well over a year to convince my DH that if we want children we gotta get to it, then we did everything "right" went off the pill for 3 months, got blood tests, went onto folic acid, before we started trying. so yes now 3 months into trying it seems like it has been a year and a half for me because of the long journey to get here.
the first AF I was a little emotional, but not a heap.. the second AF I was a wreck and tears were flowing, this time I am angry, confused.. I am actually not sure, I have this terrible inner turmoil.
I just bought some ov tests so I can start testing for ov, but last cycle we definatly did not miss the ov boat as we were BD'ing every day...I was a lot more relaxed etc.. too.
And I can't help but be really mad, when my someone else I know found out I was trying, she started trying too, and she got her BFP the first cycle!!! I can't understand why I am so so so angry about that, I feel she has stolen my thunder... and I hate feeling like this... and I know it irrational.
Anyone else experienced this much anger??? I'm not usually an angry person I promise!!!
How do you ladies that have been trying for years or longer than me get through everymonth??? It seems to be the only focus in my life at the moment and I feel its going to be the undoing of me if this doesn't happen soon.
I Know I should be shifting my focus, and I am sure after my run today I will feel a million times better.
The other thing I want to focus on is that my hubby and I want to go on holiday, but I am waiting for a refund from IRD to pay for it, so can not organise anything there until that comes through...
Also I am looking at expanding my business, my businees partner to be is waiting to sell her current bussiness before being able to buy into mine....
Oh and me and my hubby want to move to a lfiestyle block and build our own house, but we are a month away from fishing our renovations on this house and want to enjoy it before we move for at least a year... (we are currently waiting on carpet to be laid)
So although I have all these millions of plans.. and I am a very organised planning type person... I can't seem to step forward with any of them... I am in this terrible limbo, with these terrible emotions and have nothing to concentrate my energy on....
Other than my running... speaking of which... maybe procrastination should finish here and I should get off my slightly over weight butt to burn off some of these emotions.....
I hope endorphines make me feel better!!! Oh god maybe not!! My IPOD has died on me!! its only new... so I can not download my next podcast to run to! what am I goin to do!!!! hopefully I can fix it!
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